


Replament

by Hatred000



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Angst, Dir en grey - Freeform, F/M, Heartache, M/M, Netorare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 20:20:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30027312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatred000/pseuds/Hatred000
Summary: To be in love with someone that loves someone else is really painful. I always thought i was a prideful man and i am but when i imagine a world without you is so painful to even think that i have to eat it or else i can't live.These intrusive thoughts were banging Toshiya's mind even though he was desperately trying to watch tv.
Relationships: Die/Shinya (Dir en grey), Die/Toshiya (Dir en grey)





	Replament

**Author's Note:**

> I can't english let's just pretend i can actually write in correct formal english.

I look to my phone to see if you send me any message, i hate to admit but you were the main reason why i created a line since "you are not very comfortable with skype" it was just a excuse to not respond to my messages.  
The last message i received from you were like almost 2 months ago. generally when i am badly ghosted like this i delete the messages and block the person as a coping mechanism but it is almost useless that is why i gave up social media.  
I received a lot of messages but not from the one i want to hear about and it pains me so badly i fell like i barely have strenght to follow my day but i can't let this depression take over my body. i look around and stop staring at the telephone: calling you is really tempting but i am tired of humiliating myself so i just shake this idea and go to a walk instead: my mind gets clearer after a walk and i almost see nobody because quarantine and it makes me feel even more lonely so my walk didn't take so long.  
So i try to distract myself again with the tv and put my phone away.

To be in love with someone that loves someone else is really painful. i was scrolling down through channels nonchalantly until i seattled down in all anime channel. You would smile and tell me "how much of a nerd i was for still watching cartoons in my fourties" but you are not here and won't be here anymore. the pain was so bad i couldn't stop a little tear from falling from my eyes. i whisper a little "feelings are annoying i wish i was a gundam"  
But the show on tv was boring: it was some magical girl bullshit. It is already 23:00 where is my blood? but this house felt so empty the human voices that echoed from tv made me feel less alone.  
I just pick my laptop to see twitter and Shinya put a pretty picture of himself, i guess it is why you put a picture of yourself shortly after "because you don't want to lose" well i guess watching twitter was not good either.  
I was staring emptly to the screen of tv until my demivegetative was broken by a ring in my phone: it was Die.  
-Hi?  
-Hai there homie long tiem no...

I violently hanged up the phone, i don't want to hear anything from you anymore. goodbye.


End file.
